To love oneself is the beginning of a lifelong romance.”
– Oscar Wilde
We are born as valuable, beautiful human beings full of potential and love. Unfortunately, during the process of growing up, we find out that something is “wrong” with us, that we don’t fulfil somebody’s expectations that somebody is disappointed or angry, that we don’t fit to somebody’s standards and we don’t deserve what is already granted to us. Sadly we start to believe in it and even worse, receive it as our own inner voice, our inner critic. Fear, anxiety, sadness appear as does a strong need to be accepted, and loved! We forget how beautiful, special, unique and amazing we are, we lose ourselves in false judgments. Therefore, to be happy and contented we have to first behold ourselves without society’s expectations, forget many of the things that we have “learned” about ourselves during socialization process, see who we really are and fall in love with ourselves again.
Here in La Crisalida Retreats our guests have an opportunity to participate in a workshop fully designed by us during which we look at our dark side, we learn how to truly accept and love ourselves and how to forgive our deficiencies, defects and past mistakes. It is very common that we try to fill our inner emptiness seeking romantic love, acceptance and confirmation outside. We hope that somebody out there will make us feel better, loved, valuable and sufficient. Unfortunately this can lead to a downward spiral and discontentment. Our guests discover and learn how important is it to first love themselves because only then can we truly love someone else.
Self-love is a solid foundation of everything else in our lives. When we love ourselves little miracles start to occur in our life. We seem to enjoy better health, better relationships and better jobs. Our self-esteem and self-confidence start to increase. We listen to our intuition and are more open to our thoughts, emotions and feelings. This leads to better life choices, easier achievements and fulfilment. We trust the universe and the flow of life to provide what needed. We start to glow, emanate with inner love, peace and joy.
So often we wait…. wait until we get better job, wait until we lose the weight, until we buy bigger house, until we get well. But why wait? Let’s start now, from this very moment. The magic starts when we discover that we are already perfect who we are, where we are and how we are.
Appreciating our positives is a first step. So take a pen and write down all your advantages: positive character traits, what do you like about yourself, your skills, your physical appearance and so on. Imagine that you want to tell someone else about your strengths.
If you notice some resistance, recognise that this is only your inner critic, which will often try to block you! Just ignore your inner critic for now. Consider what others like about you and add it to the list. Also consider what you do not like about yourself, but what others could see as positive. What could you appreciate in your body? What could you like about your life style, personality or character?
When you finish, slowly and carefully read everything you have written and try to resonate with each positive statement, deep inside of you. Feel that this is you! Feel the satisfaction of who you are! Try to remember these positive aspects of yourself in your day to day life. You can even place the list on the bathroom mirror to remind yourself every morning of your inherent beauty inside and outside.
On the journey to loving ourselves it is important to remember not only about the final aim, but also about all the small steps along the way which are necessary for success and change. Appreciating these changes can only sharpen our awareness, attention and ability to value small things. Loving ourselves can also help us become more grateful for our lives. So what are you grateful today? What has brought a little bit of joy, light and smile to your life today? Maybe you had a half-hour break for yourself with a book and a cup of mint tea. Maybe you had a nice catch up with friends, maybe you had delicious breakfast or may be the weather was beautiful and inviting to life? What made you smile today?
Enjoy yourself, your life and learn how to F.L.Y.