When’s the last time you had to make an important decision? Did you enjoy it or did it keep you awake at night? Why is it that some people seem to be able to make decisions with confidence and others are full of doubt? Read on for some advice from John on how to turn your doubt into confidence!
Doubt and fear go hand in hand. Or more accurately, fear is the resistance of doubt. The seeds of doubt start in our childhood. As a child we make decisions but are often told “no” – there isn’t enough money, enough time, etc. We are taught that we should look up to our elders and that we are too young to understand. The result is that we are trained at a very young age to doubt ourselves. Our thinking gets clouded and we lose faith in ourselves. We search for the “right” answer to any problem – which is often the answer that we think other people will approve of. This is the cultivation of “right” and “wrong” – judgement, which can be associated with other negative emotions like frustration, guilt or anger.
If decision making is difficult for you and doubt is a constant companion, it is important to realise that doubt is not the problem. If you look deeply into it you will see that it is something more subtle, the resistance of doubt, is the problem. In fact resistance of anything always creates disharmony within us. The good news is that even though there may be times when doubt is overwhelming as soon as we accept that there is doubt, and we stop running away from it and judging it as bad, it will vanish! Of course, don’t take my word for it – try it out for yourself. Take a good look at doubt when it next arises. Don’t resist, but examine it, accept it and watch it disappear.
Let’s look at a simple example. Consider the important question, should I have an ice-cream today and let’s say there is some doubt. If we take a look at the doubt, stop for a moment and observe it, suddenly we realise that doubt is not the problem at all. The problem may be we would like an ice cream, but we’ve heard that it’s not good for our health. As we’ve recently been working on our health, we decide that not having an ice cream is most in tune with our-self right now and we decide to make a juice instead. Although this example is somewhat artificial, hopefully you can recognise how the process might work!
The beauty is that as soon as you accept doubt, and relax there is an inner shift. Thinking becomes so clear that there doesn’t even seem to be a problem any more. The approval of others no longer becomes a factor. You become free to listen to your inner voice, your intuition and you can make a decision unencumbered. You can take full responsibility with no worries. You are then free to make your decision with confidence.
So, next time you need to make an important decision, and you are feeling doubtful remember to check in with your resistance levels first. Happy decision making!